A Beautiful Life

Why Life is Beautiful right now...

I had a Good day today :). My Parents are in SoCal to visit me for my 20th birthday and today we went to Brent's Deli ( our FAVORITE place to eat in Northridge! Jewish Deli's are literally the most delicious places), then we went to Santa Monica to 3rd Street Promenade, and although it was the busiest place ever...everyone in Los Angeles must have woken up and said "Today would be a GREAT day to go to the promenade!," it was beautiful as always, with the lit up trees, good music everywhere, and lots of end of summer sales! I bought 3 things at Urban outfitters, including awesome sandals for $10 that the lady forgot to take the stupid plastic censor thing off of, which I DIDN'T REALIZE until I was home...argh...I'll have to deal with that later...

BUT that being insignificant...it was a good day...and Life is beautiful. And when life is beautiful I think of all the beautiful things in my life and how thankful I am for them...so I thought I'd make a list of what makes me happy in my life right now...*ahem*...

1. Sun flowers fake or real, no matter what they are bright and beautiful

2. Eating Ice, I do this a lot haha...I'm glad something so free is so delicious to me

3. Theatre...nothing has taught me more about myself, life, or this world...

4. My Roommate Olivia Patrick....there is no one like her, and even when she is being drunk and handsey...I could spend every minute of the day with her :^P

5. Hand written notes or cards from people, I read them over and over and keep them in my room where I can see them all the time

6. Burberry Brit perfume, the one expensive girly thing I've ever bought, it makes me feel so ladylike and the scent never gets old

7. Margaret Whiting's voice (This was a discovery I made 3 mins ago. Note to self listen to "Baby it's cold outside" and "Time after Time" if you read this and don't remember who she is)

8. Fate of a Cockroach, I am so lucky to work with such an amazing Director ( Ken Sawyer) he is so interesting, kind, funny, interesting, an AMAZING cast full of some of the most amazing people I've met in my life, and a hilarious show, with the coolest costume I've ever worn

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGLYPJBbIms

9. My Family, they are so supportive and loving, my fortune cookie at dinner tonight said it best "You cherish a good home and always put your family first"

10. Siera Casey, you are such a beautiful soul, you are one of the best friends I'll ever have, one of the best people I'll ever meet.

11. Love songs...the really romantic kind...usually the ones from the 1950's...I'm a sucker <3

12. Movie's that inspire me, "Julie and Julia" "Into the Wild" "Away we go"...3 different inspirations but none the less motivating me to live life

The beautiful thing is there are so many more and yet I'm stopping here...

Smile everyday people, it makes the world a better place :)

Did I do that?

So... 8am on this lovely Wednesday Summer morning (by the way I'm a total morning person, I don't know when this started but now I can't stop it! The coffee and bad TV have become addicting). I just went back and read over my past blogs and it was really strange because they didn't sound like ME talking! Haha I guess I usually blog when I am in one of my moods, so it's different than my usual talk but...weird...it's always interesting to look back at your own work, because you have such a different perspective as an outsider looking back than the one inside it all, creating.

P.S.

Kathryn and I have the BEST LUCK when it comes to sold out concerts.

TWO summers in a row now we have found an awesome concert at the last minute that is sold out, told ourselves that won't stop us, gone to the concert, made "We need 2 tickets!!" signs, and each time been reminded of the beautiful amazing people in this world who will make two young girls night and sell them cheap tickets!

SUMMER 2008: The Fratellis
SUMMER 2009: The Flight of the Conchords
SUMMER 2010: ?????????????

WOOOOOO!!!! :^D

MY FUTURE

I think I am getting closer and closer to what I want to do with my life, and take on as a profession. For a while I have known that I take a great interest and passion in Theatre arts and Psychology. Seeing the close relation between the two I saw how one would help with the other. I thought about perhaps acting for a while, and later in life working with therapy BUT I think I have discovered what I would really love to do. My mom found a variety of different books for me the other day at a book sale and one was titled, "A Dance with a Dark Angel" Shadow Play Drama Therapy & creative Arts Techniques by Elizabeth Henderson Eisenman. Her father was a Jungian analyst and growing up as a child with a troubled sense of direction ( in her case dyslexia) and discovering she loved acting, but continually hiding this "shadow" of anger and self criticism she found it was only hurting her to do so and it was self-destructive to put a "mask of happiness" on.

Everything that I have learned and discovered through my years of theatre so far, and learning more about psychology is being presented in this book. There is a misconception that the shadow is all bad, evil, and all black. Yet Jung points out that much of what is contained in the shadow is in the essence "80% pure gold." This is saying use your anger, fears, anxiety, whatever it may be through creative outlets, such as drawing, dancing, writing, acting. One has to experience their shadow on a deep level, kinesthetically. "Dialoguing with the shadow by drawing, moving, writing and dancing, she first recognized it for what it actually was, a Dark Angel filled with power, creativity, and insight."

The emergence of your imagination was a revelation, powerful, rewarding and celebratory by nature. You will feel in someway remarkable witnessing and experiencing the birth of your own creativity.

I have decided that I would LOVE to open my own Drama Therapy Studio creating an appropriate atmosphere, stimuli, and materials, images that can "emerge directly from this vast reservoir into the light of day." Through the process of artistic and creative integration we can experience the true nature and value of our personal unconscious.

I could perhaps, come back to San Francisco, open my studio, work in the studio as my day time job, with rehearsals and shows at night.I would be helping others and experience a very thorough personalization warm up everyday.

If I got to do something like this for the rest of my life I would never have to "work" another day in my life, because I would love what I was doing.

Out There In Space

Lately I feel like I need space.

Not because anyone is doing anything wrong, and not from any person or people in particular, just space for myself.

I don't want to be alone ALL the time or be constantly distancing myself from others, but just going with my first instinct in that moment and thinking about what I need for myself right now.

Maybe I could just call it Soul Searching, I won't know what it is I'm looking for until I find it.

Character of the Day

While sitting at Starbucks doing homework, right on the other side of the window outside was one of those real life 'characters' who make a lot of the characters in theatre legitimate people!

So I have my different hypotheses for why this woman was the way she was, I just happened to be studying for psychology at the time of this peeping Tom moment of mine, hah, so I had psychological disorders on the mind...This woman either had a problem with her Amygdala (motor reflexes), really bad ADD, or when I was driving off I caught a glimpse of a tattoo on her ankle and thought “hmmm she is skinny, and has that grandma looking jaw (when teeth are missing)” so maybe this is all the result of a lot of drug use…
She was dressed nicely in a black dress and heals, had a laptop bag and another bag with notebooks and materials in it. At first she looked like she had OCD symptoms and had to make certain movements or do small tasks a certain number of times, or her laptop was never straight enough in front of her because she kept adjusting it. She would wipe dust on her screen over and over, opening and closing the laptop. She would catch her reflection in the window every now and then and adjust her hair over and over until she gained control to look away again. She would put pens in and out of her bags, take out notebooks open them and put them away again. She was continually reorganizing everything, and would repeat the same action over and over again. She cleared everything off the table and took out a large planner, which was highlighted and had little notes written all over it in little boxes. She had that flicking of the wrist motion with her hand like she was about to write something, but never actually did, except for a few random words. Her arms were constantly moving, and she was adjusting her body constantly…

What's your Fire?

I'm so fortunate that I have grown up where I have, been as lucky, healthy, safe, and educated as I have because in theatre history we were talking about Theatre of the Absurd and the Arabic Theatre we are studying right now, specifically "Strangers don't drink coffee" and we were discussing how it deals with Authoritarian Oppression and AJ (my professor) asks all of us, "Have any of you experienced Authoritarian Oppression? or anything you think could relate to it?" and no one raised their hand or said anything. AJ's reaction was just...wow, you dont know how lucky you are. There are people dying and undergoing this oppression as we speak, please know how lucky and fortunate you are to have grown up here and are here today...

Just makes me think and realize how lucky I am. I should never take it for advantage, but instead honor this luck and do everything I can!

We also talked about Harold Pinter and the "Pinter Pause" which is basically the pasue or dramatic pause that actors/people take when they speak. That uncomfortable silence. Westerner's hate this! Our culture just talks and talks and talks and breaks teh silence to feel more at ease. Whereas MANY other cultures dont do that, they embrace the silence. Many people dont like it and it is used on stage a lot because it brings up a lot of inner thoughts (What are they thinking? Are they mad? Whats going on?) The very aspect of Absurdists theatre, those 100's of unanswered questions! They make you THINK, they leave the audience in wonder, in thought, forces them to use their imagination, think abstractly about the world or the issues and questions presented. Many people get frusterated and dont like this, much in the same way people dont like "awkward" silence. This is why so many people love musicals more than straight plays, they dont bring out these unanswered questions, or have the audience leave the theatre open ended. They provide good music, good feelings, and enjoyable entertainment. I enjoy those but I learn so much more from straight plays, with a more intellectual side, and sense of forced question and imagination.

People should always be curious, should always ask questions and continue to have their mind in action! Why is it that so many people rather just shut off? Expand your view of the world! Ask, and find the answers, or dont and learn out of not knowing. I feel incredibly passionate about all of this and for all the individuals outside of thsi artistic mindset whom tell me " you theatre people are just playing pretend" or that musicals are way better and straight plays are boring are not allowing themselves to be open to the world and learning or discovering.

The more I ask, learn and explore the more passionate I become. My words cant keep up with my thoughts and althrough its overwhelming at times and frusterating when others resist or oppose...this is what I learn and grow from everyday... The fire only burns brighter within me.

What's your fire?

Narcolepsy

I've never known very much about this sleeping disorder, I knew what it was, saw various movies joking about it, but had no idea how horrible it actually is.

In psychology we watched a video interviewing a couple individuals who had the disorder. They didn't know for years and just assumed they weren't getting enough sleep, or were too active wearing themselves out. When actually it was something they didnt control at all.

Did you know that those cataleptic moments when they just fall asleep spontaneously are triggered by ANY emotion, people with narcolepsy have to avoid having any kind of emotion so they do not have to suffer from the danger or embarrassment of these episodes. This means they have to avoid laughing (can't joke with friends or watch a funny movie), they can't love or be loved (usually won't date or get married). They can drive but they are at risk.

Even animals have been diagnosed with Narcolepsy. There was a study done with dogs where just giving them food, made them excited, and they couldn't control their bodies from falling asleep.

Can you imagine a life avoiding any emotions? Life is based and valued out of our laughter, love, tears, pain, and joy. A life absent of all those elements is barely considered 'living' at all.